A desire to love without boundaries

A desire to pour and uplift

A desire to build a future

shattered

loss and grief

Looking for a source

finding the roots of The tree

Nursing and pruning

Acceptance and apology

unbecoming to become

daily efforts

pause, silence

who is this?

rebirth

So sure, yet so unsure

set eyes on you and you intrigued me

perhaps it was the bike you rode or

what i had researched meticulously and learnt about you

i spoke but apparently you respond in 365 days plus

would you be the first from the land to have my attention since my adulthood

or were you meant to withdraw every possibility of anything due to cowardice or a deeper reason unknown to me

You appear so brave as the lion laying carefree and knowing he’s the King and I believe you walk in that light Hi

Perhaps I’m the one hallucinating and thinking there is and could be more

I don’t intend to pursue because I am not your Cup of tea

Frankly I fault you not, parce que I am an acquired taste

One that you can’t quite forget after tasting 

Like caviar to a basic pallet craving depth

I’ve just never felt so free with someone especially one I have never set eyes on

Never given a handshake, never smirked at

Yet One who weakens my defenses like a cell blocker to all radio activity

The one more than my bestest best friend if there ever was such a person 

I wake up and the first correspondence I look for

Is one from you, you’ve turned me into an hourly message checker because I refuse to use notifications

Some days I am weary of all the time I’m investing and it’s ramifications 

I call it a good week if we have honest communication where you actually say something

You are a closed book and I am aware

I just ask that you don’t withhold anything

Your opinions are precious nuggets for my gold bar 

They bring a closeness to you even though I’m afar

I’ll attempt to withdraw some days to see if I thrive 

But from my previous attempt it felt like I had forgotten my car keys and couldn’t drive

I absolutely need to figure out what I’ve encountered here

It is then that I can be bare and near

….

If it can’t be nothing more than I have experienced 

Can you at least make sure it will always be 100 honest

So sure, yet so unsure

set eyes on you and you intrigued me

perhaps it was the bike you rode or

what i had researched meticulously and learnt about you

i spoke but apparently you respond in 365 days plus

would you be the first from the land to have my attention since my adulthood

or were you meant to withdraw every possibility of anything due to cowardice or a deeper reason unknown to me

sometimes i think of more with you but most times i know you are taken and comitted

there is a connection i cant quite pinpoint

but there is also you as my listening ear which i value

its true not every connection is meant to turn into a romance, you may be my producer one day

whatever you become, im wishing mostly you become my lifelong friend in truth, trust and loyalty

(annotated version)

November came with a vengeance

She came unexpectedly

She ripped and tore my clothes leaving me exposed

She then Proceeded to perform open heart surgery with no warning and no anesthesia 

Pain is an understatement of what she brung

She took away love and hope

Replaced it with pain and despair

She gave me no room to redeem or repent 

I had so much hope for November

She’s only been here a few days 

Yet I yearn to forget her, almost ready for her to leave 

Was waiting for thanksgiving to thank october for giving way to November.

For bringing me love when and where I least expected

But I guess that was me dreaming

November will i be ever greatful for what you are here for

I know not

Articulate immaculate and stunning

I had heard a little about you a few hours to meeting yoû

To be honest I was not looking forward to meeting anyone 

I just wanted to show up for a long time friend graduating

You walked into a bar full of what one may call attractive ppl but all I could see was you

Drenched in beauty and dripping with eloquence

I tried to brush you off but it seemed you took to me as I took to you

The more we spoke the fonder I grew of my new found friend

Oh my I Gave up the friend title already

I think I’ve been smacked unbeknownst to me by a bug

Yh that l word at first site one 

Dang how did this happen 

You trailed me all night, even left with me to go run an errand, you spent the night and woke up to spend the day with me till it was time for me to leave

You asked if my marriage meant anything and I don’t have an answer because 

I can’t keep you second 

And frankly I have no firsts.

You can however always be my Joy

How

Here in this moment

Yet so far away

I dream of getting old with you

Running your ever so hot bath water

I yearn to be that hot water that you love so deeply running through your crevices

I wish that just for a second I could tap into the mind of God

I would ask him for you to be mine and a guaranteed entry into heaven for you

I would ask him to reveal himself to you always in your journey with him

I would tell him of how you live for him and no one else 

It’s that, that is it- the reason I love you

As human as I am 

All I truly want for you is what gives you peace and happiness

Of what purpose am I to you if I don’t bring that

Our sons are built on our backs 

From the moment we initiate the process of baby making 

Through their births to the very days we carry them as infants

They are on our backs

In protective cloth on the very bones that our bodies depend on

We toil through all life’s elements to make sure that they never have to suffer

Our backs, our backbones are the resting place for our strong sons

We will keep building them on our backs till the very day we are laid to rest on our backs

The man that was living a free life

How did he end up here

We all looked up to him

To find a man like him 

Or raise a child like him

He had done it all by carefully navigating the road

How did he end up here

Mad at the thought of his own DNA

Paying through his nose for DNA

DNA of a child he wanted

But one whose mum had her for an agenda

It hurt to see him hurt

To hear him say

He was put off

Now guarding his eyes and heart

More alienated than the shores of an archipelago 

Maximum security similar to Guantanamo 

I sat and thought

How did he end up here

Then a voice said

My daughter do you not Trust me?

I will take you through the storm so you can see the rainbow

I will fight on your behalf

Lay your burdens on me and trust that

In my own time I will make all things beautiful

So I prayed thanking the Man Upstairs

For my friend and his journey up here

How did he end up here

The voice replied: I raised him up here

🖊MYA

I wanna be the reason you cry and the reason you smile,

I wanna be the reason you live, reason you breathe,

I want my touch to relieve you of stress

And my kisses to strip you of your dress,

I wanna see you naked, no weave no makeup,

I wanna be true with you, baby no cover up,

I want our  moments to be great, like an awesome first date,

I wanna run my fingers down ur body as I mentally capture every grove and count,

I wanna rest my hands on your bosom, as your heart beats my frustrations away, 

I wanna be lost in your eyes knowing that you found me,

I wanna watch the sunrise on your face assuring me that you are the light of my life,

As your beauty grows throughout the trials my love still endures,

Am i yet to find you, i know not,have I already met you, maybe so

So until you come true my love

You will be MY Dream

And you will sound and feel just like I have written

FOR YOU FOR EVERYONE

General Meaning: Representing the energy of a Queen, this feminine power was traditionally known as a widow, crone or divorcee. In modern times, she can be viewed as a model of self-sufficiency, independence and intelligence. She often has extremely high standards due to her subtle sensitivities, which can be perceived by those around her as being critical or hard to please. Her true motive is to refine the world, to upgrade peoples’ understanding — so that everyone can have the space they need to become fully themselves.

She is not interested in conforming. She is too intelligent to be confined to the role of housewife or nursemaid, although she is perfectly competent in those areas. She chooses her associations (or her solitude), and is seldom caught up in dependent relationships — at least not for long. Her intelligence is not always the most comfortable to be around, but she can be counted on to see through superficiality and point to the truth of a situation.